It’s the beginning of February and I assume many of you are busy planning the month ahead. Necessary appointments, work goals, birthdays. Basically anything asking to be put on a paper so that you can free your mind and focus on something else. There are tons of ways to do this, spanning from bullet journals and lists of manifestations to good old Google Calendar. Anything that makes your inner organisational goddess happy :)
I have already mentioned some of my feelings about our society’s obsession with quantifiable outcomes, SMART goals, and toxic productivity pressures. And how quickly these can lead to all the fun things like burnout, constant levels of anxiety, and debilitating exhaustion. There must be a different way of doing things. And today I would like to share my experimentation with one of these.
I call it self-compassionate monthly planning. Self-compassionate because the goal is not to plan out as much as possible (and inevitably set myself up for failure, increased anxiety levels and imposter syndrome). Instead, I force myself to be mindful about the realities of life and how much I can realistically do in such circumstances. I have started this in September 2020, right after my burnout summer, and have to say it has improved my working mental balance tremendously.
So how does it work? Here are some instructions, but feel free to adjust them however you like. Every month, I take out a new sheet of paper and label it as monthly goals. I strongly suggest leaving a whole new page to this because it makes it faster to find, clearer to read and easier to compare with other months if that’s what you find useful. I also prefer writing it by hand, as I find it helps me reflect better, but you obviously do you. But enough of blabbing, here are the instructions:
1. I start by flipping back through my notes until I find my previous monthly plan. I look through the goals I set for myself for the month. I tick/cross those I have completed and mark/take notice of those that for some reason stayed unfinished.
2. Then I come back to the new page and write a reflection of the past month. It does not have to be a long essay: one or two paragraphs are more than enough. In these, I sum up what the previous month was like, any unexpected events that might have occurred, energy levels, potential illnesses, anything that sums up the general vibe.
3. Then I name every single task I managed to accomplish. It often happens to me that I get swayed by circumstances and work on different tasks than I originally planned. Maybe a new book changed the course of my research, and instead of writing what I originally planned, I ended up working on a literature review of the new phenomenon. Or, an amazing conference/publishing/mobility opportunity occurred, and I spent a large portion of the month working on my abstract and application, pushing other responsibilities aside. Or, I am planning my wedding and working on some creative side projects while doing my PhD, so I simply did not have the time to finish everything this month. Instead of feeling like a complete failure staring at my barely ticked list, this allows me to see, in black&white, what it is that I have actually been doing. More often than not, it is a lot more than I originally feared.
4. Then I reflect on the tasks I did not manage to do. Why was that? Did I hugely underestimate the time needed to work on these, did they become obsolete in the meantime, or was a different opportunity given priority this month? Whatever the reasoning, I find it extremely helpful to write it down. Sometimes I even compare this part with the previous months to see any patterns in my working problems or to think about the possibility that I might be stubbornly forcing myself to do things that are no longer beneficial (e.g. using an outdated method that won't bring anything new or interesting but I have already invested too much time into it to let it go; or classically forcing myself to read yet another book or explore another archive instead of actually sitting down and writing).
5. At the end, I reflect on what planning mistakes I might have made the previous month, and set a general pace for the next one. Perhaps I underestimated the time needed for certain tasks or simply threw on me too much, inevitably setting myself up for failure. Whatever the problem, I find it extremely important to think it through in order to be more self-compassionate and realistic in my planning in the months to come.
6. Only after this reflection, I actually write down a list of tasks for the next month. I try to keep them at a reasonable number, estimating how big of a task some of these are. For example, if I plan to work on a draft chapter, I know I won't have time to focus on much else that month. Or if I have classes three times a week and readings and presentations require an extra day or two, there won’t be much time for writing or extracurriculars. And you know what? That’s perfectly ok.
I guess a lot of these observations are common wisdom but I think it is still important to repeat them out loud. Very often, we seem to be planning as if our working time was unlimited. There are, after all, 24 hours a day, 7 times a week. This makes 64 hours of potential working time, not counting the weekend and essential napping (not mentioning the fact that many of us do work over the weekends or do not allow ourselves to sleep at least 8 hours a day). However, not all of these hours can or should be used for working or even worrying about work. If you ask me, probably not even a half of them. But that’s probably for another discussion. I am hoping you find these tips helpful and give self-compassion a try. It really is worth the hype :)
Do you also practice some form of self-compassionate monthly planning? Or you just take the month in as it comes? Let's chat in the comments. Otherwise, until next time.
~ Lucie
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